Leaving a Legacy...

Last week I attended the visitation of the Grandfather of one of my best friends. He had been suffering from the after-effects of strokes for a few years, so although his death wasn't completely unexpected, it was still heart-breaking. He was 81 years old, and he had been married 64 years. Yes, no typo there - 64 years. He left behind his wife, three sons, one foster son, nineteen grandchildren, and twenty-one great-grandchildren.

I had never met him before, but heard neat stories about him over the years, as well as about Grandmother. From what I heard, Grandfather was a man who loved God, loved his family dearly (he was known to mention the phrase "family, family, family" when uttering the importance of his family), and also was a passionate voice for the unborn. It was very clear that his whole family adored him and he was highly respected at home and in his community.

And Grandmother... I could not even do her justice to describe her because I'm one of the least articulate people I know, but let's just say that she is the epitomy of servanthood. She took care of Grandfather with the most loving heart while he was ill, it makes me cry just to think about it. In an age when we're pushing people into nursing homes (yes, I know sometimes it is absolutely necessary) she steadfastly and faithfully took care of her "Valentine" without so much as a sigh of complaint.

So, thinking about these two precious people has brought me to think more about my own legacy and what I will be remembered for. If I was to die tomorrow, what will be on the forefront of my children's minds? What will they say about me at my funeral?

And, five minutes after I die, what will I wish I had given away? Missionary C.T. Studd said, "Only one life, 'twill soon be past; only what's done for Christ will last."

I'm 38 years old right now and been blessed with excellent health. Looking back, how have I spent this time that God has gifted me? What have I given my children thus far that counts towards eternity? What have I built into them? What risks do I wish I had taken? Have I given my all? John Wesley said, "I judge all things only by the price they shall gain in eternity."

I want to die to self more and more and more. I don't want to make a decision based on if it's an inconvenience anymore, or if it's going to cut into my "me time." And I want to look at everything that God providentially places before me as an opportunity. I want to serve with my whole self, with a spirit of gratefulness, just like Grandmother.

But I cannot do this without Christ of course. He is the only one who can transform my pitiful attitudes and sense of entitlement that I sometimes possess. The longer I walk on this earth, the more I realize that I desperately need Jesus. No matter how many books I read about being a good wife and parenting (and I've read a lot of them), they will not transform me into who I need to be - only God's Word and His spirit residing in me will.

I often wonder why/how certain attitudes have formed in me and in my generation of women. For instance, beliefs such as "I must have 'me' time." Or "I deserve" to have such-and-such. Or why we all feel we need huge houses and tons of clothes. Or why we spend so much time entertaining ourselves. We've been studying the 1800's in homeschooling this year, and women's attitudes were much different back then. They were much more resilliant and..... they just did what needed to be done and seemed to not complain, and they lived under the harshest of circumstances.

Anyway, that subject will be for another post. :) I'll just leave you with an encouragement to think about what legacy you're leaving your family and friends, and have a vision and a plan for either changing that legacy or adding something even greater!