Musings....

Yesterday I had to take Owen to the chiropractor at 6:00 p.m. We grabbed some apples, bananas, and clementines, our LSU popcorn bucket to collect peels and cores, and loaded up the truck.

It was a beautiful evening. The sky was blue, and it was in the low 60's. I turned on the book on CD we were listening to - Indian in the Cupboard - and off we went. The kids were quiet, intently listening, and I was enjoying the peace. For about two minutes. Then Luke said, "I'm hot! Can you turn on the A/C?!"

Our truck was parked in the garage all day, it was about 62 degrees out with a nice wind, but Luke is "hot." Since it's finally started warming up here in Louisiana, the kids frequently tell me in the truck that they're hot and they want the A/C on. But then within ten minutes someone else is cold and they want it off. But someone else is still hot.

Which got me to thinking last night about spoiled American children. Yes, I did just go from A/C to spoiled American children. Do my children really have to always be at the right temperature? Can they not feel hot for a good while, or cold? Or thirsty, or hungry? My children (well, mostly Owen) get particularly annoyed when they tell me they're hungry, and I come back with, "Good! It's good to feel hunger! Most of the world's children are hungry because they get only one meal a day!" I honestly don't think they even know what it's like to be hungry. I'll bet they've never had a hunger pain, even for a moment.

I know you're going to think I'm somewhat cruel, but each day I purposefully try to make something "unfair" happen in their lives, deny them something they want, or hold off what they want

My educational consultant, Carole Joy Seid, once said, only half-joking, "The poorer you are, the better off your children will turn out character-wise." Now obviously we're not talking about the "we don't have running water or food" type of poor. I'm talking about the "I can't afford to keep up with the Joneses" type of poor. The longer I'm in this world, the more I think she's on to something.

I love to people watch, and it's interesting seeing the kind of teenagers that we're raising today. (and I'm talking here in general - certainly I've seen many, many amazing teenagers, mostly being raised by close friends :) They seem to lack humility, respect for elders/authority, graciousness, integrity, and ultimately really have NO fear of God. Instead they have this attitude of self-entitlement, pride, lack of hard work ethic. These teenagers will eventually enter our workforce and turn into what my husband has to deal with on a weekly basis in the form of consultants. I'm amazed at the stories he tells me of consultants he hires that won't stay at a particular hotel because they're too good for it, or walking off a consulting gig and hopping on a plane back home because a job was too stressful and not telling him or the client - nobody can get ahold of him for hours and hours.

Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.... We only get ONE shot at this job called parenting. It scares me to death sometimes, frankly. I want so much for my children, but at the same time I want them to have so little materially. I want them to be content with a simple life and be grateful for the few things they have. But most important to me is I want them to love God and walk with Him daily. I want them to be world-changers for Him. I could care less if they do well in calculus. What does it gain the world if they go far beyond E equals MC squared but think they're better than everyone else? What if they become the President of the United States but stain the Office with lies and deceit and immorality?

I don't have any answers whatsoever. I'm just praying my kids won't need psychotherapy when they grow up because I wouldn't buy them cereal or Wii. Lord help me....

Leaving a Legacy...

Last week I attended the visitation of the Grandfather of one of my best friends. He had been suffering from the after-effects of strokes for a few years, so although his death wasn't completely unexpected, it was still heart-breaking. He was 81 years old, and he had been married 64 years. Yes, no typo there - 64 years. He left behind his wife, three sons, one foster son, nineteen grandchildren, and twenty-one great-grandchildren.

I had never met him before, but heard neat stories about him over the years, as well as about Grandmother. From what I heard, Grandfather was a man who loved God, loved his family dearly (he was known to mention the phrase "family, family, family" when uttering the importance of his family), and also was a passionate voice for the unborn. It was very clear that his whole family adored him and he was highly respected at home and in his community.

And Grandmother... I could not even do her justice to describe her because I'm one of the least articulate people I know, but let's just say that she is the epitomy of servanthood. She took care of Grandfather with the most loving heart while he was ill, it makes me cry just to think about it. In an age when we're pushing people into nursing homes (yes, I know sometimes it is absolutely necessary) she steadfastly and faithfully took care of her "Valentine" without so much as a sigh of complaint.

So, thinking about these two precious people has brought me to think more about my own legacy and what I will be remembered for. If I was to die tomorrow, what will be on the forefront of my children's minds? What will they say about me at my funeral?

And, five minutes after I die, what will I wish I had given away? Missionary C.T. Studd said, "Only one life, 'twill soon be past; only what's done for Christ will last."

I'm 38 years old right now and been blessed with excellent health. Looking back, how have I spent this time that God has gifted me? What have I given my children thus far that counts towards eternity? What have I built into them? What risks do I wish I had taken? Have I given my all? John Wesley said, "I judge all things only by the price they shall gain in eternity."

I want to die to self more and more and more. I don't want to make a decision based on if it's an inconvenience anymore, or if it's going to cut into my "me time." And I want to look at everything that God providentially places before me as an opportunity. I want to serve with my whole self, with a spirit of gratefulness, just like Grandmother.

But I cannot do this without Christ of course. He is the only one who can transform my pitiful attitudes and sense of entitlement that I sometimes possess. The longer I walk on this earth, the more I realize that I desperately need Jesus. No matter how many books I read about being a good wife and parenting (and I've read a lot of them), they will not transform me into who I need to be - only God's Word and His spirit residing in me will.

I often wonder why/how certain attitudes have formed in me and in my generation of women. For instance, beliefs such as "I must have 'me' time." Or "I deserve" to have such-and-such. Or why we all feel we need huge houses and tons of clothes. Or why we spend so much time entertaining ourselves. We've been studying the 1800's in homeschooling this year, and women's attitudes were much different back then. They were much more resilliant and..... they just did what needed to be done and seemed to not complain, and they lived under the harshest of circumstances.

Anyway, that subject will be for another post. :) I'll just leave you with an encouragement to think about what legacy you're leaving your family and friends, and have a vision and a plan for either changing that legacy or adding something even greater!