This is for Steffany

My friend Steffany wanted me to post something, so here's something... :)

We've been in Louisiana one month now, renting from Jimmy's sister until we find an acreage. We decided to move to Louisiana on September 27th, and we pulled out of our driveway eleven days later. Eight days after arriving we went to Houston and Austin for a week to see friends and family, and for Jimmy to compete in the 1/2 Iron Man.

Now I feel like we're settling in. My range of emotions over the move have finally settled, and (ah-hemm) I actually like it here. I don't feel like a stranger in a foreign land anymore. The first week, I have to admit, it was quite a culture shock to me. And I don't exactly know why. I mean, I had been to Louisiana many times before - it's not like we moved to China.

I guess it was the little things. For instance, there's no hiding that I'm a "granola." And... well, there's nothing granola about Louisiana. It's very hard to find raw milk, food co-ops, local grassfed meats. Even the grocery stores here (except for Whole Foods, of course) have a very limited selection of "natural" foods. Scan the butter aisle, and 95 percent of it is margarine and spreads (blecht!). Pure maple syrup, again, 95 percent of the syrups on the shelf are corn syrup and other junk flavored with maple.

So.... who cares, right? Yes, who cares. Must I have raw milk to make me happy? I found out that, unfortunately, yes, I do. Embarassing to say. I stumbled across this quote from John Piper the other day that I love: "Woe to us if we get our satisfaction from the food in the kitchen and the TV in the den and the sex in the bedroom with an occasional tribute to the cement blocks in the basement!"

I want all my satisfaction (peace) and joy to come from the Lord, not from where we live or what I feed my family. I sing "You Are My All In All" with tears running down my face in church. But I'm finding out that it's not really true in my heart. He is my All In All IF... I'm living in the mountains, getting grassfed raw milk, experiencing four seasons, eating local vegetables and fruits from the farmer's market... take it a bit deeper... if my husband is appreciating me, if my birthmom is staying out of trouble, if my kids are healthy, if my friends are not experiencing hardship, if we can adopt again...

The Lord is teaching me a lot in this season of life we're in. First and foremost that He is my Jehovah Jireh - He will provide everything I need. He knows exactly what I need. And let me tell ya, it's not mountains. I need massive heart surgery to splice out the ugliness of all my wants and desires that have nothing to do with Him. I need GOD, folks. That's all I need.

I got a lot of "bad" advice about picking up and moving to Louisiana. Friends would say to me, "Well, what about your dreams? You want to stay in the mountains, so why does Jimmy have the say-so?!"

Jimmy didn't say to me, "Donna, we're moving to Louisiana." It was a decision we mutually arrived at. Would I choose Louisiana out of all the states to live in? No. But I couldn't find anywhere in the Bible that said, "My plans for you are to live anywhere you want. I want you to derive your happiness from the mountains and the food you eat. Your happiness is all I want, m'dear."

Friends, it's not about being submissive to my husband. Although that's important, it's ultimately about trusting God. And God called our family here through a variety of circumstances. I'll admit, I went with a very reluctant heart at times, but I knew deep down that this is where He wanted us. One huge thing that made me a very willing follower was that I've always wanted a hobby farm with a cow, chickens, turkeys, huge garden, fruit trees, et cetera, and I really couldn't do that in Colorado. Having mild winters will enable me to garden year-round and to have many more animals than I'd be able to in Colorado.

God is my Jehovah Jireh. He will provide exactly what I need, when I need it, for His timing is perfect. And it will be for His glory, not my happiness.

The other night I was grocery shopping by myself at night, and two different men at different times said to me, "Hey lady, how you doin?" It really made me smile - people truly are soooooo warm here. And there's so much color! In Park County, Colorado, I really do believe Eli was the only African-American child residing there. And he needs to see diversity in his life. And I've realized I do, too.

The kids and I watched a fabulous movie this afternoon called The Red Pony. The father is from the San Jose area and has always felt like a stranger on their ranch in the West - he says everybody in their town calls him Mr. Tiflin, instead of just Fred, even though he's been there for years. He goes back to San Jose to "find what he wants." When he comes home, however, he makes a great discovery. He said, "It's not where you are that makes you a stranger. It's where you think you're a stranger that makes you one."

So, I was all over the place with this post. And that's all I could pull out of my sleep-deprived self at the moment. But just wanted everybody to know that we're alive and well here, and that Louisiana is really, really growing on this granola girl. :)